In-Law Relationships

Having good relationships with in-laws is important to me. I know that as I was growing up it wasn’t always easy forming bonds with my siblings, and it got harder as we got older. However, I can say that once we each started to form our own families, our relationship with each other became more important, we began to make it a priority. I value my brother and sister and the relationship we have today. I know my husband feels this way toward his siblings. If my husband wants this with his siblings, then I need to want that too with his siblings. I have also found it important for us as the adults to have a good relationship so that our children can form relationships with each other. I remember how many memories were made with my cousins and the times we were always all together. Much of that time defines my childhood. I want that same opportunity for my children, and I think those opportunities are more likely to happen if, as parents, we have a good relationship with each other. It is also important for me to have a good relationship with my parent in-laws. I appreciate them for the way they raised their son. They have always tried to do everything they can for us and they have also really helped us out at a time when we were in need.  

I know that communication and work need to be put into these relationships. Effort is a big part of the success that can come. Over the course of our marriage there have been times when keeping these relationships alive were hard and challenging. There have been misunderstandings and hurt feelings. To quote James Harper and Susanne Olsen, “Improved relationships will require time, effort, patience, and a willingness to communicate about issues and past offenses with love and concern.” (Creating Healthy Ties with In-laws and Extended Families, Chap. 37). Thankfully, we have all continued to try and I do try my best to apologize when I have done wrong. I work to communicate and keep a dialog going in hopes that my willingness and desire is felt, in wanting a relationship with them.

RESOURCES  

Harper, James M. and Olsen, Susanne Frost, “Creating Healthy Ties with In-laws and Extended Families,” Chap. 37, “Helping and Healing our Families”. Desert Book Company. 2005.